Q: ... What I would really like is to find a master.
A: Dear Friend, if you think your request is "bizarre", you are in good company;my answer is just as bizarre. As far as I am concerned, the only true Disciple is the inner one (the Higher Ego or Causal Body); through it you as a personality can get in touch with your inner Master. This is my personal conviction based on facts.
The problem is how to get there. There are two possibilities: to find a guide who leads you (impersonally) towards the illumination (realization) of the lower planes of your personality (vitality of the sub-consciousness or unconscious sub-personalities); or you can try the empirical way (direct experimentation). Our work tries to formulate distance mental “contacts” (first possibility) in order to create in those near us the nucleus of conscience (knowledge) that allows us to implement an experimentation on ourselves.
I realize that in these terms the topic might appear extremely “hermetic”, but I can assure you that it is not, on the contrary. The goal of the researcher is to untie what is “tied up”, to make understandable what appears as “mysterious” and enigmatic, to make real what appears as metaphysical; indeed everything is present in the natural intimacy of man, even the cosmos. Therefore there’s nothing left to do but find a guide. On this as well I am not able to advice you. I can tell you, though, that even the choice of journey and landmarks is a test. The test does not only consist of "doing" but it starts already on your choice of "how and when". Indeed, often we choose badly and end up "not doing".
As far as the Master is concerned, I reiterate my first statement adding that it is not at this point of our evolution (initiatory journey) that we can find one. Each meeting undergoes a condition of utility where very few can create the requirements. And this condition certainly cannot be achieved with chatters.
On this topic I’d like to remind you of a saying that when I was young stroke me like a shot (a small emotional shock) and substantially changed the direction of my life: chatter won’t cook the rice.
I realize that it sounds like a simple sentence, but its meaning has been very important to me.
The rule says: by recognizing you will be recognized. Therefore search and you will see that what you need is closer than ever.